Sorry Been MIA
Good Afternoon
All we have to do is,
SPREAD OUR WINGS AND FLY. . . .
100 Ways To Avoid Dying
None of them were made-up. Just remember: if you fail to observe these rules, we won't be responsible for the consequences!
HOUSEHOLD HINTS
1. Don't take ashes out of the fireplace or wood stove between Christmas and New Year's Day.
2. Never place a broom on a bed.
3. Close umbrellas before bringing them into a house.
4. Avoid sweeping after sundown.
5. You mustn't wash clothes on New Year's Day.
6. Don't shake out a tablecloth after dark.
7. Never wash a flag.
8. Don't turn a chair on one leg.
9. Keep cats off piano keys.
10. Don't hang a dishcloth on a door knob.
11. Sweeping under a sick person's bed will kill him or her.
12. Don't ever, ever rock an empty rocking chair.
RENOVATION AND DECORATING
13. Never add-on to the back of your house.
14. You mustn't cut a new window in an old house; the only way to avoid fatal consequences is to toss your apron through the new window, and then jump through it yourself.
15. Never drive a nail after sunset.
16. Don't move into an unfinished house.
17. Avoid carrying axes, shovels, and other sharp-edged tools through a house; if you must take one inside, always take it out by the same door.
18. If you move out of a house, don't move back into it for a year.
19. Don't hang your sweetheart's picture upside-down.
20. If a picture falls from the wall, don't pick it up.
21. Never carry a peacock's feather into a house.
22. Keep cut flowers out of bedrooms overnight.
23. Don't ever carry a bouquet of wildflowers indoors before May 1.
SEWING AND FASHION
24. If you cut out a new dress on Friday, you must finish it that same day.
25. Don't make new clothes between Christmas and New Year's Day.
26. Never hold a stick in your mouth while sewing.
27. Always sew cross-stitching on your underwear.
28. Don't walk around in one shoe.
29. If you see a will-o-wisp while out walking at night, turn your coat inside-out.
30. Never wear another's new clothes before they have worn them.
31. A woman who makes her own wedding dress will never live to wear it.
COOKING AND TABLE MANNERS
32. Never set three lamps on a table at the same time.
33. Don't set the table backwards.
34. Never serve 13 at a table.
35. Avoid drinking coffee at 5 o'clock.
36. You mustn't write on the back of a dish.
37. Never return borrowed salt.
38. Don't ever cross knives while setting the table.
39. Be sure that someone else cooks your birthday dinner.
40. Don't put two forks at one place setting.
41. Never, never turn a loaf of bread upside-down.
SLEEPING
42. Sleeping with your head at the foot of the bed is surely fatal.
43. Don't sing in bed.
44. If you hear a dog howl at night, reach under the bed and turn over a shoe.
45. Don't count stars.
46. A man should never dream of a naked woman; a woman should never dream of a naked man.(You know who you are...)
PERSONAL HYGIENE
47. Never rub soap on your skin on a Friday.
48. Don't look into a mirror over another's shoulder.
49. Avoid combing your hair after dark.
50. Absolutely no haircuts in March.
51. Let a baby's hair and fingernails grow until their 1st birthday.
52. Don't let two people comb your hair at once.
53. Never shave at night.
54. NEVER, EVER share a razor used by a dead man.
FUNERAL ETIQUETTE
55. Never hold a funeral on a Friday.
56. When a person dies in a house, you must immediately cover all mirrors and stop all clocks.
57. Children should not pretend to have funerals.
58. Don't ever try on a mourning veil.
59. Always remove a dead body from a house feet first.
60. Never ride in a hearse, unless you are the driver.
61. Don't count the cars in a funeral motorcade.
62. Avoid wearing new clothes to a funeral, especially new shoes.
63. Pull the shades in a room where a funeral is taking place; if the sun hits a mourner's face, he is the next to die.
64. When walking in a funeral procession, don't look backwards.
65. Never point at a grave.
66. Try not to step across a grave.
67. Never leave a grave open overnight.
68. Don't ever be the first to leave the graveyard after a funeral.
69. If a corpse lies unburied on Sunday, another in town will surely die soon.
70. Wait a year before putting up a tombstone for a family member; if you don't, another family member will go before the year has ended.
GENERAL AND MISCELLANEOUS
71. Drink May rainwater.
72. When sick, don't look in mirrors.
73. Don't give a person a peony.
74. Never measure your own height.
75. Try not to imagine it's Saturday when it's not.
76. Don't count cars on a passenger train.
77. Never whistle in a coal mine.
78. Avoid measuring a person who is lying down.
79. Don't walk backwards.
80. You mustn't allow a candle to burn itself out.
81. Never sell a dog.
82. Try not to kill a crow; but if you do, be sure to bury it while wearing black.
83. If you transplant a cedar tree, you will die by the time it is big enough to shade a grave.
84. The same is true of a willow tree.(as in 83)
85. Don't ever hang your hoe on a tree branch.
86. Don't skip a row when planting corn or beans.
87. If you watch a person out of sight, you'll never see them again.
88. Avoid stepping over a person who is lying down.
89. When your name is called, don't answer the first time-it may be the Devil calling you.
90. Never shake hands through a window or over a fence.
91. Try not to sit with your back to the fire.
92. Don't burn sassafras wood.
93. If you walk with your hands locked behind your head, it will kill your mother.
94. Don't even THINK of mocking an owl.
95. Don't store your shoes above your head.
96. Never kill a locust.
97. Never kill a lizard.
98. If you hear a hen crow, you must kill the hen.
99. If you are on a train when a woman boards, dressed in black, get off.
100. Whatever you do, don't let a lizard count your teeth.
http://www.almanac.com/content/100-ways-avoid-dying
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi
2nd Amendment
http://townhall.com/
This Day In History, October 1
1890: Yosemite National Park established
On this day in 1890, an act of Congress creates Yosemite National Park, home of such natural wonders as Half Dome and the giant sequoia trees... read more http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/yosemite-national-park-established?et_cid=47100737&et_rid=932024243&linkid=http%3a%2f%2fwww.history.com%2fthis-day-in-history%2fyosemite-national-park-established
American Revolution
1776 : Patriots learn of increased French support
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/patriots-learn-of-increased-french-support
Automotive
1908 : Ford Motor Company unveils the Model T
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/ford-motor-company-unveils-the-model-t
Civil War
1864 : Rose Greenhow dies
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/rose-greenhow-dies
Cold War
1949 : Mao Zedong proclaims People's Republic of China
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/mao-zedong-proclaims-peoples-republic-of-china
1988 : Mikhail Gorbachev becomes head of Supreme Soviet
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/mikhail-gorbachev-becomes-head-of-supreme-soviet
Crime
1993 : A 12-year-old girl is kidnapped
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/a-12-year-old-girl-is-kidnapped
Disaster
1987 : Earthquake rocks Southern California
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/earthquake-rocks-southern-california
General Interest
1918 : Lawrence of Arabia captures Damascus
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/lawrence-of-arabia-captures-damascus
1936 : Franco heads Spain
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/franco-heads-spain
1946 : Nazi war criminals sentenced at Nuremberg
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/nazi-war-criminals-sentenced-at-nuremberg
1965 : Suharto crushes Indonesian coup
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/suharto-crushes-indonesian-coup
2005 : Terrorists strike again in Bali
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/terrorists-strike-again-in-bali
Hollywood
1962 : Johnny Carson makes debut as Tonight Show host
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/johnny-carson-makes-debut-as-tonight-show-host
Literary
1856 : First installment of Madame Bovary is published
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-installment-of-madame-bovary-is-published
Music
1920 : Scientific American reports that radio will soon be used to transmit music to the home
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/scientific-american-reports-that-radio-will-soon-be-used-to-transmit-music-to-the-home
Old West
1890 : Congress creates Yosemite National Park
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/congress-creates-yosemite-national-park
Presidential
1924 : Jimmy Carter is born
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/jimmy-carter-is-born
Sports
1961 : Roger Maris breaks home-run record
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/roger-maris-breaks-home-run-record
Vietnam War
1961 : South Vietnam requests a bilateral defense treaty
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/south-vietnam-requests-a-bilateral-defense-treaty
World War I
1918 : Crisis in Germany
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/crisis-in-germany
World War II
1944 : Experiments begin on homosexuals at Buchenwald
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/experiments-begin-on-homosexuals-at-buchenwald
September 30, On This Day In History
1955: James Dean dies
On this day in 1955, movie star James Dean dies at age 24 in a car crash on a California highway... read more http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/james-dean-dies?et_cid=47015415&et_rid=932024243&linkid=http%3a%2f%2fwww.history.com%2fthis-day-in-history%2fjames-dean-dies
American Revolution
1776 : Washington blames militia for problems
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/washington-blames-militia-for-problems
Automotive
1955 : James Dean dies in car acciden
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/james-dean-dies-in-car-accident
Civil War
1864 : Battle of Poplar Springs Church (Peeble's Farm)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/battle-of-poplar-springs-church-peebles-farm
Cold War
1949 : Berlin Airlift ends
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/berlin-airlift-ends
Crime
1994 : A Texas college student kills his ex-girlfriend
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/a-texas-college-student-kills-his-ex-girlfriend
Disaster
1999 : Radiation released at Japanese plant
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/radiation-released-at-japanese-plant
General Interest
1399 : Henry IV proclaimed
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/henry-iv-proclaimed
1938 : Munich Pact signed
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/munich-pact-signed
1954 : USS Nautilus commissioned
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/uss-inautilusi-commissioned
1962 : Riots over desegregation of Ole Miss
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/riots-over-desegregation-of-ole-miss
Hollywood
2005 : Eisner resigns as Disney CEO
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/eisner-resigns-as-disney-ceo
Literary
1868 : First volume of Little Women is published
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-volume-of-little-women-is-published
1928 : Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and best-selling author, is born
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/elie-wiesel-holocaust-survivor-and-best-selling-author-is-born
Music
1935 : Johnny Mathis is born
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/johnny-mathis-is-born
Old West
1889 : Wyoming legislators write the first state constitution to grant women the vote
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/wyoming-legislators-write-the-first-state-constitution-to-grant-women-the-vote
Presidential
1918 : President Woodrow Wilson speaks in favor of female suffrage
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/president-woodrow-wilson-speaks-in-favor-of-female-suffrage
Sports
1927 : Babe Ruth hits 60th homer of 1927 season
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/babe-ruth-hits-60th-homer-of-1927-season
Vietnam War
1964 : First large scale antiwar demonstration staged at Berkeley
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-large-scale-antiwar-demonstration-staged-at-berkeley
1968 : Humphrey announces that he would halt the bombing of North Vietnam
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/humphrey-announces-that-he-would-halt-the-bombing-of-north-vietnam
World War I
1918 : Turks abandon Damascus as Allies approach
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/turks-abandon-damascus-as-allies-approach
World War II
1938 : Hitler appeased at Munich
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/hitler-appeased-at-munich
THIS IS US!!!!
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!
And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.
Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts!
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps..... With a hammer.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too!
Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy
While we're here...
And, MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
And, MAY AMERICA BLESS GOD!!!
Go Green - Recycle CONGRESS
What You Sow, You Will Reap
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.
But…
If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.
So be careful what you plant now,
It will determine what you will reap tomorrow.
Thank you Alice!
"A True Look At Life"
Life can seem ungrateful ~ and not always kind...
... Life can place challenges ~ right at your feet...
Messy To Clean Pantry
Ooof, got to get used to this new camera, well it's almost a year old and I still can't take a decent pic with it.
I told you it was messy!
See what I mean Renee.
Disaster area!
FINALLY.......
Pit Bulls Attack Car Looking For Kitten, Ruin Bumper
Four pit bulls attacked the bumper of a minivan on Monday morning and did quite a bit of damage, including flattening a tire. According to their owner–who is also the owner of the car–they were trying to get at a kitten that had gotten herself stuck up underneath the car’s front bumper.
Luckily for the kitten, she was wedged up in a safe spot and survived the attack without a scratch, although the vehicle didn’t fare quite so well. The owner, upon seeing the damage that morning, changed the tire and made his way to work, a 25-mile drive. When he arrived and got out of the car, he heard meowing coming from beneath the car and called authorities to help him retrieve the animal.
“Fender Lynx”, as she has been dubbed by her rescuers, is about 7-weeks old and is doing well under the care of the Palm Springs Animal Shelter. She will be put up for adoption on Saturday.
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
And laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
When they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
And cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
A birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they
Think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
Can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
To show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
Makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
Family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
And everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.







